It was seven years ago today that I wrote my blog post entitled, "Here's to Life..." and here I sit today, feeling compelled to update that post http://leackerman.blogspot.com/2010/01/heres-to-life.html. Much of what I wrote on that day still rings true. The year 2009 WAS life-changing for me, as I discovered so much about myself and grew personally. My role in life has been and still is that of a supportive one. I spend my life taking care of others... keeping those close to me safe, comfortable and happy. I am still a peacemaker and I like to think of myself as "a rock." It was the year of the awakening of Laura Ackerman, and it was a great one!
As I headed optimistically into 2010, I had no idea what was to transpire that year. Experiencing the near-loss of my youngest son, Christopher in April, who sustained a Severe-Traumatic-Brain-Injury, struggling with depression, PTSD and sleeplessness, and overcoming my brush with death when I had a Massive Pulmonary Embolism in December were things I never anticipated. Yet we survived them and kept plugging along. The following six years were full of ups and downs. We delighted in the miraculous recovery of Christopher as we watched him heal and experience a full recovery. Our family grew closer as we realized how near we had come to going from a family of five to a family of three by the end of that year.
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| Uncle Don at St. Patrick's Cathedral |
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| My parents and brothers |
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| Emily's Graduation from Boston University |
But as I write today, so much has changed... some things for the better and some that I never imagined would transpire. My children are no longer children. They are all adults... 30, 23 and 20 years old and they have officially been launched into the world, which was my intent all along.
My years of "active parenting" have come to an end, my years of "being a wife" have come to an end and I find myself entering a new stage of life... my "Second Time Around." This new stage is, well... new. For the first time in my life, I am living alone. That is not a good thing nor is it bad. It just is. I had always thought of myself as an extrovert. I am outgoing, can strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime and I thoroughly enjoy it. But in 2016 I discovered that I am, indeed an introvert. Yup, ME... an introvert! While I enjoy the company of others, my way of recharging my batteries is to be alone. And alone I am! For the most part, I enjoy it. I love sitting in my quiet house with my dogs, a fire in the fireplace, listening to music, reading and writing. Doing these things gives me the energy needed to go out into this crazy world and engage with others... to be social. I am blessed to have wonderful, supportive friends to spend time with, a church that I love and children who I am privileged to see and spend time with often (9 times in 2016)!
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| Mexico City, March 2016 |
I have spent most of the past two years being rather introspective. I'm working on myself and striving to learn, grow and challenge myself every day. I have found "my voice" and am learning how to use it. I am learning how to live alone. Because of the fact that I pretty much ran our household for nearly 33 years, I am blessed that this has not been a difficult transition. But I will admit that while I enjoy living alone for the most part, it is at times, well... lonely. Learning to live alone is a process and one that I am trying to embrace. The fact of the matter is that real life is wonderful, horrible, joyous and painful. It is full of surprises... some that we wish for and others that we would prefer to never cognize.
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| Christmas 2016 |
Here's To Life
No complaints and no regrets.
I still believe in chasing dreams and placing bets.
For I have learned that all you give is all you get,
So give it all you got.
I had my share, I drank my fill.
And even though I'm satisfied, I'm hungry still
To see what's down another road,
Beyond a hill, and do it all again.
So here's to life, and all the joy it brings.
Yes, here's to life, and dreamers and their dreams.
Funny how the time just flies.
How love can go from warm hellos to sad goodbyes.
And leave you with the memories you've memorized
To keep your winters warm.
But there's no yes in yesterday
And who knows what tomorrow brings or takes away.
As long as I'm still in the game I want to play
For laughs, for life, for love.
So here's to life, and all the joy it brings.
Yes, here's to life, and dreamers and their dreams.
May all your storms be weathered,
And all that's good get better.
Here's to life, here's to love, here's to you.
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