I Can Only Imagine

For those of you who know me well, you know that I rarely speak of my faith on my blog. I never set out to do (or not) that; it’s simply the way things have played out. But today is different for I feel compelled to write. And the words that are flowing from my fingertips speak of my faith in a God who is so much bigger than me. This God is forgiving… He loved me even when I didn’t believe I was worthy of His love. He is a God who waited patiently for me as I asked my questions; as I struggled to comprehend who He really is and how He can possibly know each and every one of us, down to the number of hairs on our heads. He is a God who placed people into my life... I call them my angels here on earth and I believe they were hand-picked by God to show me His love; to teach me His ways; to set the record straight in my very confused and frustrated mind. But through my struggle to know this God, I discovered that He was always there, that He never let me down, and that His love for me is eternal.

Today an acquaintance of mine passed away. To put it more accurately, Frank passed into the arms of His waiting God. He is no longer in pain and he is finally at peace. Though I only spoke directly with Frank a handful of times, I always knew of him as a prayer warrior. He and his wife, Coralie dedicated their lives to praying for others and I will never forget speaking with Frank shortly after Christopher returned home from the hospital after his accident; hearing him tell me of the hours he spent on his knees in prayer for my child. For that I will always be grateful.

Though I am sad to know that Coralie is now left here on earth to carry on without her beloved partner, I can’t help but think of the joy that Frank is experiencing at this very moment. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is in heaven with God and I can only imagine what that must be like. There is a song by the group Mercy Me that has been playing in my mind all day long and I have always loved the lyric. It expresses so well what always comes to mind when I ponder the day I meet my God in heaven…

I can only imagine what it will be like

When I walk by your side

I can only imagine what my eyes will see

When your face is before me

I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory

What will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you Jesus,

Or in awe of you be still?

Will I stand in your presence,

Or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing Hallelujah,

Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes

And I find myself standing in the Son

I can only imagine when all I will do

Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I will do

is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine

Here's a link to the song if you'd like to give it a listen... 
http://youtu.be/9La_4svq8JI

As much as I am grateful for what God has blessed me with here on this earth, I look forward to the day I will see my God face to face. But for now, I will continue to do my best to honor Him and be a faithful servant. Here’s to you, Frank… you will be dearly missed here on earth but I can only imagine the party that is taking place in heaven.

Letter to Chris from Dr. Newman

Today Christopher received an e-mail from his PICU doctor while he was a patient at Children’s Hospital, Oakland 17 months ago after falling from a tree and sustaining a severe traumatic brain injury. The letter is so beautiful that I want to share it with all of you…

“Dear Chris, I am so proud of your achievements over the past year. Now I hear from your parents that you have passed or rather aced the sailing course and are a fully-fledged, certified SKIPPER. WAY TO GO MAN!!!!!. When I think of the defenseless young boy in the bed, coming out of your coma (as your Dad assured me you would), going on to Rehab and regaining your strength and thoughts almost faster than I could have dared to hope, I am proud to have had the chance to take care of you. We only provided the time for you to gain strength back and you and your family have done all of the hard work. KOL HAKAVOD, which means, "all of the honour" is due to you and your family. I pray that you will all go from strength to strength and that you will have many such successes. Please do keep me informed of ALL of your achievements, no matter how large or small. I look forward to seeing you and your family soon.
Your oh so PROUD Doc., Viv Newman PICU OAKLAND -- I hope that you might remember me a little.”

Knowing Dr. Newman and having the privilege of calling her friend is one of the blessings that came out of this unexpected traumatic experience and we will be forever grateful to her and the entire staff at Children’s Hospital, Oakland. My next (and very soon to come) blog post will be the most recent update on Christopher's miraculous recovery!

I’m writing! I’m writing! I’m writing! I can actually stay focused long enough to write! Oh, happy day!

Skipper Chris!

16 1/2 months ago he was in a coma fighting for his life, but today he passed his sailing test in the San Francisco Bay! Congratulations to my miracle boy, Skipper Chris!

soccer tryouts + christopher = frustration

Christopher’s neurosurgeon thinks he might be able to play soccer next season but since his brain is not yet healed, any physical contact is considered risky and is therefore prohibited. So there he stands on the sidelines, watching enviously while his peers engage in 1 v 1’s, vying for a spot on the team.

A year ago on this day, he had come out of his coma and was high on narcotics. He was sweet and funny, saying things like, “Hey Emily, there are two of you and you have, like 8,000 eyes!” and “Nick, your socks are fantastic and your shoes are sick!”

As much as my heart breaks for Christopher, I can’t help but be grateful to see him standing there, desperately wishing to be in the middle of the action. He has come so far, and this could have ended so differently. He will play soccer again; perhaps not this year, but that day will come. For now, I will count my blessings and give thanks for the life of my miracle boy.

Life As I Once Knew It...

life as i once knew it... there is no such thing. my life will never be as it was. that is not a good thing, nor is it bad. it just is. because of all that has transpired over the past year, i am a different person and i am forever changed.