Sunday, May 9, 2010, 7:30 pm
Well, Nick's night with Christopher was not bad and not good, it was just restless. He had a difficult time falling asleep and was woken by a nurse around 9:30 pm. Nick thought he had gone back to sleep from midnight to 3:30 am, but when I told him that Chris had texted me several times throughout the night, we realized that he probably didn't get more than an hour's sleep. He started telling Nick that he wanted a shower at 3:30 am and Nick finally agreed to it, got him in there and he quieted down. After laying quietly in bed until 6:30, Nick got him up and they went down to the cafeteria for breakfast. Here are the text messages that I received from Christopher throughout the day:
1:45 am: When r u going to come here? I actually did not know when u r comern (coming). rly (really) i spelled it wrong.
2:08 am: Sry (sorry) i was wrong. Never mong (mind) or how u spell mong (mind)
4:03 am: Im rly mad at nick right now. We (he) is being realy annoying
6:54 am: I am going to ask the hospital if i can go home today
8:35 am: Happy mothers day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you
8:40 am: R u coming to the hospital today? And i maybe come home today. I shoud.
9:14 am: I can't come home today. Why is this hospital so stupid!!!!!!!!
10:01 am: Come here please and lase (take) me home
10:15 am: Why doesn't dad thing (think) about me?
10:31 am: Come now. Dad doesnt love me so i want him to go home now
I didn't respond to any of his texts during the night (definitely don't want to get into that!) and only responded to the positive ones in the daytime.
Paul and I had a wonderful evening together last night, eating at one of our favorite restaurants, Lark Creek Cafe in Walnut Creek. We ran into several of our friends who were shocked to see us together out in public! It felt so very normal, something we haven't experienced much lately! Emily had several friends sleep over for the night, so there was lots of activity and laughter, and we almost forgot that we had a child in the hospital. That was a very good thing!
Nick was thrilled to see Paul this morning at 9:00, as he had slept about as much as Chris last night. The lack of sleep seemed to really affect Chris' mood and he was pretty blue again and mostly bored. There is no therapy on Sundays, so the days are long. Paul was worried about him, so he took him down to the 'Friendly Cafe' (I'll take a picture of it and include it in one of these posts, as it is one of the more pleasant places to 'hang out') and brought the game Mancala with them. He said that he let Chris win the first couple of games but then he beat him fair and square. Christopher developed a strategy and could count the pieces, etc. That is very encouraging! We love seeing his mind at work...it has to feel good to Chris!
As for me? Well, I had probably the laziest day I have ever had. I slept until 1:15 pm....yes...one-fifteen pm... I don't remember the last time I did that! Guess I was tired, eh? I was woken by Nick and Emily when they brought me a cup of coffee from Starbucks and a beautiful bouquet of flowers. At that point, I sat up in bed and spent the next couple of hours reading. I finally got up at 3:45 pm, showered, dressed and headed to the hospital. We all sat down in the cafeteria and had pizza and salads from Zachary's and a nice bottle of wine. We talked about all the wires, tubes and monitors that Christopher had hooked up to him, as he has no memory of his days spent in the ICU. He is becoming more and more curious about it and he is remembering what we tell him.
He still desperately wants to go home, but is not nearly as persistent in his request that we take him, seeming to accept our answers a little more willingly. (photo left taken this evening wearing his new t-shirt from our friends, the Pascutoi's. He's looking pretty good these days...definitely better than in the PICU). A couple of nights ago when Christopher was struggling so with his agitation and belligerence, I wrote, "...one of these days he'll once again believe that we love him oh so much, even though we are unwilling to walk him out of the hospital!" My friend, Joe wrote to me in response to what I had said and I would like to share it with you here:
I love this perspective. It makes so much sense and is a beautiful picture of what he sees going on with Christopher. His persistent drive to finally get home is exactly what we all want. Thanks, Joe!
"...one of these days he'll once again believe that we love him oh so much, even though we are unwilling to walk him out of the hospital."
"This line stopped me, made me pause, to reflect on the symbolism of 'home'... security, safety, connection, family, love, protection, legacy,
normality, comfort, warmth...'our homes,' in a sense, frame the intricate
paintings of our lives...and I had to admire Christopher's determination.
Perhaps, it is the essence of his recovery...determination to go home.
And in an environment (the hospital) and circumstances where little is
within his control, and the path home is blurred ...he is pulling on the
one thing that is obvious, unbreakable, which is undeniable, concrete and
real: the love of his family.
Wonderful...his determination...wonderful...that every time he calls
love into question...he absolutely affirms that he believes very much in
your love." (Joe Foster)
Love, Laura
p.s. photo above sent to me by Christopher's friend Sabrina this evening. It is from a time several months ago when he was at her house and he posed with some horses. She said, 'he's adorable in (this photo)... i want him 2 remember that...'
I am thankful that you had a restful, peaceful Mother's Day...and now I will go and hug my children one more time before they fall asleep. God's blessings and strength be upon you as you begin another week of your "now"!
ReplyDeleteCarrie Francis
Mrs. Ackerman,
ReplyDeletei love your blog but i'm wondering... and i hope you dont mind me asking, can Chris talk normally?
love,
tinna
Tinna, my dear sweet girl... Christopher's speech is one of the areas of his brain that was injured when he fell from the tree. There are times that he speaks as beautifully and articulately as we have always known him to do. We call them 'his moments of clarity." But then there are the times that he simply can't find the word that he is looking for or that his thoughts become confused. This, of course frustrates him beyond belief. Remember, Christopher Ackerman is used to understanding the world around him, and if there was ever anything he didn't understand? He would simply ask questions until he was satisfied. The great news is that he hates the confusion that he is experiencing. He is fully aware that he is not articulate and that his spelling is suffering. Why is that great? Because he is going to fight and fight until it all comes back to him! Don't forget about his persistence...that thing that used to drive us all crazy. THAT is what is going to bring the Christopher that we all know and love back to us. Hope that answers your question!
ReplyDeleteLove, Mrs. Ackerman