As I sit at my computer today, I feel such a range of emotions. I'm so sad that it's all over. I'm thankful that I was able to do it. I smile when I think of all the new friends I made. I get teary when I think of how long it will be until I see them again. I laugh when I think of the adventures some of my new friends had, just getting to the Las Vegas Hilton. My head hurts when I think of the very loud 4 hours we spent in Tempo after the show (just shows how old I'm getting). Ahhhhh . . . the memories.
It was exactly one week ago today, at this very hour, that I pulled up to my hotel, got out of the cab, and was greeted with, "Hello. Welcome to the Las Vegas Hilton, home of Barry Manilow." What a way to start my weekend! Taking the elevator up to my room and pulling out my "Barry" room key, I heard, "He's the Ultimate Manilow . . . and then that voice of pure velvet . . . "I write the songs that make the whole world sing . . . " being piped through the elevator speakers. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
This was my first trip to see Barry SANS family. Actually, this was my first trip ALONE .... anywhere ... and I wasn't sure how that would be. I went ALL BY MYSELF. Would I be bored? Nah. Would I wish they were there? Not really. Would I miss them? Uhhhh. . . nope. It's not that I don't love my family. As a matter of fact, I really LIKE them. It's just good to be alone sometimes.
This was going to be my 6th and 7th time to see Barry in concert. Though I've been a fan for 35 years, I only started seeing him in concert 13 months ago. I'm making up for lost time! Each of the previous 5 shows I'd attended, I'd brought family . . . my husband, 3 kids, Aunt, Parents, Brother and Sister-In-Law. It was great sharing Barry with all of them. And they certainly enjoyed themselves. The problem was that I spent so much time making sure that everyone else was happy, that I didn't spend much time just enjoying myself. I found myself being distracted, thinking about my family . . . "did she enjoy that story? . . . what did he think of that song? . . . are they having fun? . . . why won't they stand up? . . . why aren't they compelled to stand up . . . how can you just sit there? . . . come on, you guys, STAND UP!!!" Thus was my experience. I had to keep pullling myself out of that zone....the "make sure everyone else is okay" zone.
This was going to be my 6th and 7th time to see Barry in concert. Though I've been a fan for 35 years, I only started seeing him in concert 13 months ago. I'm making up for lost time! Each of the previous 5 shows I'd attended, I'd brought family . . . my husband, 3 kids, Aunt, Parents, Brother and Sister-In-Law. It was great sharing Barry with all of them. And they certainly enjoyed themselves. The problem was that I spent so much time making sure that everyone else was happy, that I didn't spend much time just enjoying myself. I found myself being distracted, thinking about my family . . . "did she enjoy that story? . . . what did he think of that song? . . . are they having fun? . . . why won't they stand up? . . . why aren't they compelled to stand up . . . how can you just sit there? . . . come on, you guys, STAND UP!!!" Thus was my experience. I had to keep pullling myself out of that zone....the "make sure everyone else is okay" zone.
I headed back home around 3:00 pm on Sunday afternoon and I couldn’t believe how rested and refreshed I felt. NOW did I wish my family had come with me? Nope. Was I sorry I had spent the weekend ALONE? No way. Was I anxious to get back home and see them? YOU BET. It's true . . . absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. I tried to explain my weekend to my husband. I told him that in so many ways, it was therapeutic for me. Being alone, spending so much time reading, determining my own schedule, meeting so many nice and interesting women, seeing Barry two nights in a row, all of this was so good for me.
I told him that the bad news was that from now on, I wanted to go to Vegas by myself. It was really nice to have “my own experience” at Barry’s show and to not have to think about anyone else. Turns out that was NOT really bad news for him. He said that he understood and was actually glad that he is now officially “off the hook” for going to Vegas. It’s not really his thing. So we're both happy. We'll go other places together, but I think that Vegas is just for me, my friends, the NEW friends I have yet to make, and, of course, Barry! I loved staying at the Hilton, Barry’s “home away from home”."
Okay, maybe I AM FINALLY figuring this thing out. It's only taken me 35 years! It IS possible to go to Vegas ALL ALONE to see Barry, spend some SOLITARY TIME, meet up with OLD FRIENDS, make lots of NEW FRIENDS, LAUGH so much that your side hurts, TALK so much that your voice is strained, take so many PICTURES of Barry and your friends that you fill your memory card but still didn't get ENOUGH (is there such a thing as enough of anything Barry?), and SHED TEARS as you leave because you can't believe that, once again, it's over and THEN look back on it as one of the times of your life that you will NEVER FORGET . . . EVER.
Traveling alone, without my family was a very enlightening and liberating thing for me to do. I think it was good for me and I know that I want to do it again.
I can't wait to go back. I will go back. I am going back. Five months, two days and counting....
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