I Had No Idea...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

About a month ago I received an e-mail from a woman in my World Vision/Women Of Vision chapter inviting me (at Angela Mason’s prompting, of course) to consider joining her in a new venture.  Fremont, California has the largest Afghan population in the United States and the Afghan Elderly Association was in need of women to partner with them in teaching English to the women in the group. 

Now, the interesting thing is that a year ago, no make that 6 months ago, had someone suggested to me that I engage myself in the teaching of English to women from Afghanistan, I would have wrinkled my brow, tilted my head and said, “you’re asking me to do what?  And you’re asking ME because…..?”  You see, I was still living my safe little life in my tiny little world and I wasn’t likely to venture out of my comfort zone and try something new.  Especially not something like teaching, or working with women who didn’t speak English.  But that day, when I read that e-mail from Carol, I found myself, much like the day that Angela Mason asked me to travel with her to Bosnia, intrigued.  I actually thought to myself….”well now, that’s something I’ve never done before.  It sounds like fun!” 

As I drove down to Fremont for my first time three weeks ago, I really didn’t know what I was doing.  I knew that there was a woman who spoke both English and Farsi who would be walking with us through this process, but as I walked into that room, I had no idea how very quickly these women, who come from a world that could not be much more foreign to me, would steal my heart. 

There were only a handful of women present at the start of the meeting and we all smiled and waved ‘hello’ to each other.  They were dressed neatly, most of them wearing scarves on their heads.  We met Mahin, our leader and discovered that she is a local realtor who came to America from Iran.  She quickly commanded order in the room and got us started on our first task. I began testing the women, one at a time to determine their level of English proficiency.  After introducing myself, I then proceeded with the oral exam.  The questions were very basic, “What is your name?  Where are you from?  Are you American?  How old are you?  Are you married?  Do you have any children?”  If she could answer those basic questions in English, then I would proceed to show her photos of various items, asking her to name them.  Mahin wanted to know whether or not they could read English, and that became clear when I got to the picture of a Coke bottle.  If she called it “Sprite” then I knew that she couldn’t read, but if she called it a ‘”soft drink” (which were the English words below the photo) then I knew I had a reader! 

We were a little concerned about the fact that the women weren’t all present and ready to begin when we arrived.  No, they trickled in for a full 2 hours!  We were told by one of our translators that a lack of punctuality is a cultural thing for these ladies.  We weren’t sure how that would play out as we continued with our classes. After testing all 40 women, we then divided them into groups.  There were the women who not only knew no English, but, it turns out, were also illiterate in their native language, Farsi.  In the months to come, we would work with these women during our first session of the day and then the second session would be working with the women who knew and could read and write some English.  I felt such kindness from these women and couldn’t wait to return the next week.  Something that Mahin told us is that the women suffer from low self-esteem and depression.  Many of them are widowed and live alone.  As I have been trying to find ‘my place’ in the world these past months since returning from Bosnia, I had the sense that working with women was somehow one of the things that I was meant to do.  After meeting with them the second week, I knew that I was meant to do this. 

The first thing that I noticed upon entering the room for our second meeting was that it was full.  I was actually surprised to see so many of the ladies already there….anxiously waiting to begin their English classes.  We were working with the lower group for the first session, so we were each given 3 – 4 women along with an interpreter and I quickly fell in love with Maliha.  She had a wonderful sense of humor and really seemed to enjoy assisting me with the women.  They are all friends, so there was lots of laughter in the room.  We began with the absolute basics….. “My first name is _______.”

It was during the teaching of this very simple phrase that I got my first indication of what these women would really need.  Their self-esteem was so low that if they couldn’t get it after the first 5 or 10 tries, they would just shake their heads, cover their faces and give some excuse about their bad memory.  I could see the frustration and embarrassment in their eyes.  I’ll never forget taking Jamilla’s hands in mine, looking her in the eyes and telling her that it was okay.  I told her that the fact that she was sitting there, across from me and simply trying was something to be proud of.  The look on her face as she listened to Maliha interpret for me, in Farsi was quite moving.  With tears in her eyes, she smiled, nodded her head and said, “tashakkor”….thank you.  That was when it began to click for Jamilla.  She just needed to be cared about….to be believed in.  Isn’t that what we all need?  It was at that moment that I gave my heart to these beautiful Afghani women.  I knew that I would be there….week after week, month after month, just believing in them and loving them. 

I spent the second half of my morning working with a more advanced group of 6 women.  We went over the correct writing of addresses, telephone numbers and discussed families.  I think the biggest laugh I had all morning was when I asked Maliha, who was now my student rather than my interpreter if she was married.  She looked at me with a huge smile on her face and said, “Yes, I am married…..to a wonnn…derful man!” and then she laughed and laughed.  She told me that all American women say that they are married “to a wonnn…derful man,” whether they are or not and that she just thinks that is so funny.  Yes, we Americans are predictable and we provide a healthy dose of entertainment for those from other cultures! 

As I was preparing to leave, Jamilla walked up to me with a group of women and gestured for me to ask her what her first name was.  When I asked her, she beamed as she said, in beautiful English, “My first name is Jamilla!”  She flew into my arms and gave me the biggest hug I’ve ever had.  I just cried.  She then grabbed an interpreter and asked me how to say, “My teacher’s name is Laura.”  I told them and they all asked me to write the phrase down in their notebooks.  It wasn’t until I was home later that day that it clicked for me.  This particular group of women have never attended school…..are illiterate even in their native language, so I am the first teacher they have ever had.  They are so proud of themselves and they want to be able to tell their friends that they now have a teacher.  Wow.  It took me awhile to wrap my arms around that one. Talk about a humbling experience.  I will certainly get more out of these encounters than they will and I am honored and privileged to be called “teacher.” 

I called my dear, sweet Angela that afternoon and said to her, “Angela Mason….this is Laura Ackerman.  Do you make it a habit of turning upside down and inside out the life of every woman you meet?”  She, of course laughed and laughed and we proceeded to have a lovely conversation about why she had thought this would be something I should do and how we just never know where life’s path will lead us.  She feels as though she is simply a vehicle for God to work through, but I would argue that she is that and so much more.  She has depth of insight that is rare and she acts upon her instinct.  It is a privilege knowing Angela and I will continue on this new journey upon which I have found myself, with great anticipation, looking forward to what will be down the next road, all the while thoroughly enjoying where I am today.