Wednesday, February 6, 2013

He's Home!

Mom and Dad in Vail, CO celebrating 60 years of marriage in July, 2013
When my dad went to the Emergency Room on the evening of February 3rd, he was experiencing pain on the right side of his chest and under his right arm. When he arrived, they did an EKG which showed that he wasn't having a heart attack but they found that he was in Atrial Fibrillation with Rapid Ventricular Response. He was given Cardizem to bring his heart back into normal rhythm and it worked. His heart has since been in Sinus (normal) rhythm. Blood was drawn and they did a Blood Panel, also known as a CBC (complete blood count), or FBC (full blood count). This test gave an overview of his overall health status.

As part of that blood draw, they looked for Cardiac Enzymes that could have leaked into his blood. This was done 3 times over a period of 18 hours (every 6 hours) and if the enzymes were present, that would indicate that he had had a heart attack and that there was possible injury to his heart. Fortunately, those tests came back negative so it was definitive that he did not have a heart attack.

After the EKG and blood draw, he was taken to have a chest x-ray and a contrast CT scan which showed multiple small blood clots in both lungs. There are clots in his lower and middle right lung and in his lower left lung. He was diagnosed with Bi-lateral Pulmonary Embolism and was immediately given an injection of Lovenox. This is a fast-acting blood thinner and they have continued to give him 70mg of Lovenox twice daily. At the same time, he was given 5mg of Coumadin which is also a blood thinner but it will take several days to build up in his system.

Using a Pulse Oximeter (a device clipped onto his finger), his Oxygen Saturation Level (called Sats or Lung Profusion) was tested and it was at 95%, which was great! Normal Sats are between 95-100% at sea level and on Tuesday morning, his Sats were at 96% on room air. This is a good indication that the clots in his lungs are not keeping his blood from being oxygenated as it travels from his heart, through his pulmonary artery, into his lungs and then back through his circulatory system. 

Because he was stable, Dad was transferred to a high-level care room within the hospital rather than having to be placed in ICU. He was continually monitored there and given narcotics to lessen the pain he was experiencing as a result of the blood clots in this right lung. This medication made him very drowsy but it relieved him of his pain and allowed him to rest peacefully.

An Echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) was performed on Monday morning. His doctor was exploring the atrial fibrillation that had been discovered in the ER. Also, it is not uncommon for the heart to be damaged after a PE because the heart is often stressed as it pumps harder (because of the blood clots) to get blood into and back out of the lungs. What was found is that he had a mildly dilated right atrium, but his valves looked good and his heart continued to be in Sinus (normal) rhythm. His heart rate has consistently been in the 60's over the past couple of days which is very good.

The PE that Dad experienced as a result of clots in his lungs most likely originated from a blood clot (or clots) in his leg(s). He has traveled extensively by plane over the past 12 months and has spent a lot of time in his office sitting at his desk getting everything in order in preparation for their upcoming move to Minnesota. These factors definitely contribute to the development of blood clots, but between the Coumadin and the fact that he's going to get into the routine of getting up and moving around more frequently, we shouldn't have to worry about more clots developing.

The clots that he currently has in his lungs and likely in his legs will gradually dissolve and be reabsorbed into his bloodstream. This will take several months. His doctor wants him to have an ultrasound of his legs in three months to determine if the clots have dissolved and if they have, he will probably be taken off Coumadin. My friend, Patti Heaps who is a Palliative Care Nurse told me that tests are being done on the risk-benefit ratio of elderly patients being on Coumadin. It's not uncommon for them to stumble and fall, usually hitting their heads and being on Coumadin frequently leads to head bleeds. So more and more, patients are taken off Coumadin and put on a low-dose aspirin regimen.

Dad was released from the hospital on Monday, February 5th around 5:00 pm. His discharge diagnosis was 1) Bilateral Pulmonary Embolism and 2) Atrial Fibrillation with Rapid Ventricular Response. He was sent home with an order to have his blood drawn to test his PT/INR (Prothrombin Time/International Normalized Ratio) level every day for seven days. Prothrombin Time (PT) is a blood test that measures how long it takes blood to clot. It is also used to check whether medicine to prevent blood clots is working. The PT laboratory test includes mixing a commercially available reagent with the patients blood plasma and measuring the clotting time. However, PT time shows great variations, depending on the type of reagent used and the way it is measured. To standardize these PT results, the World Health Organization introduced International Normalized Ratio (INR), which allows a doctor anywhere in the world to treat a patient with blood clotting issues.

For most people, their INR should be around 1, and their PT (clotting time) should be around 10-12 seconds. A person on Coumadin typically needs to be in an INR range of 2-3 (which is my dad's goal range) and their PT (blood clotting time) should range from 22-30 seconds. The challenge is to make sure their blood is thin enough to prevent clots from forming yet not so thin that it causes excessive bleeding. He will gradually reduce the frequency of his blood draws from daily to weekly to bi-weekly(every two weeks) to monthly.

Mom and I are also giving Dad twice-daily Lovenox injections until his INR is (and remains) in his goal range. He doesn't seem to mind them but he has some very attractive bruises on his stomach! The pain medication that was prescribed for him is a pretty strong narcotic that makes him drowsy and a bit confused, so he's been taking Tylenol for his chest pain and that seems to be working well.

We will meet with his Primary Care Doctor on Friday for a follow-up visit. I have a few questions for him that I wasn't able to get answered in the hospital and also some questions regarding his follow-up care. I feel bad for the poor nurse and doctor in the hospital who were subject to my copious list of questions yesterday, but they were both great about answering them and giving us so much information and clarity!

The "curse" of my Massive Pulmonary Emboli in December of 2010 has proven to be a blessing these past couple of days. Because of what I went through, I understand all of the medical terminology and have been able to communicate effectively with the Doctors, Nurses and Lab Technicians with confidence and understanding that I would not have possessed otherwise. I knew which questions were important to ask, was familiar with the information they gave us and feel confident that my dad is receiving the care that he needs.

I want to thank everyone for your prayers and well-wishes, notes of compassion and concern, e-mails, texts and phone calls. Our family has been through so many serious medical emergencies in the past 2 1/2 years but God has been gracious and has had His healing hand on all of us. Please pray for my dad's continued speedy recovery and for clarity and peace of mind for both of my parents as they navigate through this new medical terminology, medication and change of lifestyle.

Also, please pray for God's guiding hand on them as they prepare to move from Oklahoma to Minnesota around the first week of April. They have a lot on their plate right now and it can feel daunting at times, but I know they will be fine and will settle into their new home quickly. My brother, Ken lives in Minnesota and it's great that he will be so close to them. I am very thankful for all he has done to help them find a Retirement Community in which to live, and the bonus is that it is fairly close to his home and work. I will be here in Oklahoma through next Monday and then will travel to Minnesota in April to help them unpack and settle in. Hopefully, my next blog post will be an update on how they are thriving in their new home in Eden Prairie, Minnesota!





Monday, February 4, 2013

Again?


My day began with a 5:30am phone call from my mother. Of course, before she could say anything, I asked if everything was alright, to which she replied, "No. Your dad is in the hospital and he has a Pulmonary Embolism." Unbelievable, yet not entirely surprising. My maternal grandmother and mother have a history of blood clots; two of my three brothers, Ken and Scott have had Pulmonary Emboli; of course there was mine in December of 2010 and my oldest son, Nicholas' last July while in Guatemala. That's FIVE of us now! Wow!

I guess the surprise is that we all assumed this genetic tendency (or whatever you want on call it) came from my mother's side of the family. Now we know the truth... it comes from both parents, which probably explains the high rate of Pulmonary Emboli in my immediate family. This gives me more reason to pursue genetic testing in the very near future to determine what is causing the blood clots, whether it be a genetic mutation or a specific gene, and to take the necessary steps to prevent it in the rest of our family members (and their future children). 

Back to my dad, I don't have a lot of information at this point. He had pain under his right arm last night (Sunday evening) that continued to worsen to the point that my parents made the decision to take him to the Emergency Room. I'm so thankful they made that choice. Perhaps they were thinking it was a heart attack, but once at the hospital, an EKG revealed that he was not having a heart attack. They then proceeded to do a CT scan which revealed blood clots in (I believe) both lungs. They immediately began giving him injections of Lovenox and started him on Coumadin, which is a blood thinner. The Lovenox is fast acting whereas the Coumadin will need to build up in his system until he is at a therapeutic level. 

I believe they performed an echocardiogram on his heart this morning. Frequently, when one has a Pulmonary Embolism, the heart is stressed which causes enlargement. I don't know the results of that test yet but will let you know as soon as I do. He was also given Morphine to lessen the pain, so he is very drowsy. He is not in ICU, which I believe is a good thing. My brother, Scott spent 2 days in ICU, Nick was there for 3 days and my stint was 5 days! He's in a regular room and is able to get up and move around a bit, so I take all of that as a good sign that (I hope) he is not suffering from a life-threatening PE. 

I am on the plane as I type this, headed to Oklahoma to be with my parents. I won't arrive in OKC until later this evening so I likely won't see my dad until tomorrow (Tuesday). My mom and I will be at the hospital early in the morning so we can speak with his doctor when he does his rounds. I'll write again tomorrow after I have more information. Please pray for healing for my dad and peace for both my mom and dad. They have a big move coming up next March when they relocate from Oklahoma to Minnesota, so I'm sure their minds are filled with worry and concern about how they will accomplish all that lies ahead of them. 

Thank you in advance for your prayers. 
Love, Laura

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Chief at the age of 18 months with a very black mask... no gray like the old guy has today!

Chiefie and Christopher at Christmas... "just because I weigh 175 pounds doesn't mean I'm not a lap dog"!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Life in the ICU... an article from DIablo Magazine about Christopher

Below is the link to an article from Diablo Magazine on Children's Hospital celebrating 100 years of serving families in the Bay Area. It includes the story about Christopher, his accident and our experience with the wonderful staff at Children's. You can read the article on Christopher if you scroll down a ways once you've clicked on the link... it's titled "Life in the ICU."

Sunday, November 11, 2012

He's back...

Ready for the Championship game of the season
We've had the privilege of being able to watch Chris play soccer again this season after having to miss two years while waiting for his brain to heal. The season started a little slow while he worked hard to 'get back into the game.' He ran slowly, had forgotten a lot of the footwork he had learned and the game just didn't flow like it used to. But it didn't take long for those electrons to begin firing again and his 16-year old, 6 foot tall body began to kick into action. Before we knew it, the old Chris was back, playing his favorite positions of 'Stopper' (defense) and 'Center Mid field' and taking many of the corner kicks for his team as he is known for his 'big boot'! He even scored a goal on one of his corners by 'Bending it like Beckham' and knocking it directly into the goal! Too bad it wasn't during a game but rather a late-night scrimmage!


Today was the final game of the season. His team made it to the championship game of the league tournament and they were fortunate to end up winning the game! Below are two videos; the first is of one of his corner kick attempts today and the second is of the kind words his coach had to say about his season... 



Mustang U16 Vipers
It's been a great couple of months for Christopher and we're not only proud of him but so very thankful that he can once again participate in a sport that he's had a love of for 11 years! At one point, we didn't know if he'd ever play again but here he is, running all over the field, kicking the heck out of the ball and doing more 'headers' than either his coaches or his mom like to see. But it's all good and it's finally 'normal'. Thank goodness for 'normal' things like being a kid and playing sports (and being alive)!









Friday, November 9, 2012

Time To Soar...

This afternoon I had an interesting conversation with a gentleman and the manager of a pizza joint while waiting for my pizza order. It started with a comment I made about what we used to do before cell phones when we found ourselves with time to kill. We agreed that we would talk to those around us, read, write, ponder life, etc... But today we find ourselves checking e-mail, texting, scoping out the latest tweets and reading and responding to facebook updates. 


Nick, Emily & Christopher in Peru, July 2007
And our children don't have a CLUE what to do when faced with free time. They're 'bored' and 'can't find anything to do.' They are growing up in a most privileged, teeny, tiny 'world' and the greatest gift we can give them is NOT preaching at them or reminding them how "good they have it." No, our responsibility is to take them to a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter and give them the opportunity to serve; or better yet, send (or take) them to a third world country and let them see, experience and live among those who truly know poverty. THAT, my friends, is what will open their eyes, minds and hearts to those less fortunate than us... those who live in "the real world." 


Emily in Haiti
It is through these experiences that their lives will possibly be changed and perhaps even motivate them to pursue a career with a non-profit organization that is committed to serving those less fortunate than us, or to teach children who are living unimaginable lives. Perhaps they will choose to spend their time outside of their jobs... their free time serving the needy. There are endless opportunities out there and all they (and we, for that matter) need to do is grab hold of them. 

Chris in Haiti
 Mychildren have been blessed to volunteer helping others in countries such as Peru, Haiti, Mexico, Guatemala and Indian Reservations in Arizona. Nick has seen the worst of the worst... visiting slums in Africa, Cambodia and El Salvador. My hope for them is that the experience they have while serving in impoverished countries will be transformed into a vision, a dream... a dream to spend their lives being part of changing the world, one life at a time. I want them to chase their dreams, to fly on the wings they were born with, to take chances. And my hope is that they know that I'll always be here for them, loving, supporting, encouraging and cheering them on.

Below is the link and the lyric to a song I sent to Emily when she left for Guatemala a month ago and I love the lyric and the sentiment of the song by Nickel Creek called, "When You Come Back Down."






When You Come Back Down
"You got to leave me now, you got to go alone.
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own before it slips away.
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song that you learn to play.

When you're soarin' thorough the air I'll be your solid ground.
Take every chance you dare, I'll still be there when you come back down.

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return.
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn and I won't feel your fire. 
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine.
I'm strung out on that wire and I'll be on the other end to hear you when you call;
Angel, you were born to fly. 
If you get too high, I'll catch you when you fall.

Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings,
I know the sky is calling Angel, let me help you with your wings.

When you're soarin' through the air, I'll be your solid ground.
Take every chance you dare, I'll still be there when you come back down."

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Writing...

I was listening to an interview with Amy Grant whose music has helped me through some very rough times, and she was talking about songwriting and it really resonated with me. I thought about what she was saying in terms of writing in general and here's what she had to say:

"It's an amazing experience for any of us to have an idea that we find incredibly compelling... (and when writing...) you have to sit still and think about something. If I'm trying to communicate this thought, first off, what do I really think? What do I really believe? And so I would just say, always be genuine in your writing. And realize that if you say something that matters to you, whether it's happy or sad or an eternal thought, or just something about what you ate yesterday; if it matters to you, there's probably somebody out there that it's gonna matter to as well." (Amy Grant, singer, songwriter)


Her advice has inspired me because so often I feel that when I write, it needs to be something really deep, or about a big event, but perhaps it's time to change my thinking. Perhaps it's time for me to start writing again... simply writing about what matters to me. 

Somewhere Down the Road - Amy Grant



‎"Somewhere down the road
There'll be answers to the questions.
Somewhere down the road
Though we cannot see it now.
Somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you.
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road."

Monday, October 8, 2012


An article about Christopher's PICU Doctor was written up in the San Francisco Business Times and Christopher was mentioned in it...



Monday, July 30, 2012

Nick's Good News...

Nicholas with his Dr. in Guatemala City on the day of his release from the hospital
I'm happy to report that Nicholas' INR has finally reached his goal range so he is going to be able to travel home to Los Angeles at the end of the week! We are very relieved to know that his body is responding to the Coumadin he is taking and this will protect him from developing further blood clots. He is planning to come up to the San Francisco area in about a week and a half to attend the wedding of some close family friends and we are really looking forward to seeing him and spending the weekend with him! Thank you once again for all of your support and your prayers on Nick's behalf. We are so very blessed and thankful that he is still with us!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Nicholas' Hospitalization - 3

There's been a bit of a delay in getting my update on Nicholas out because I've been traveling and enjoying celebrating my parent's 60th anniversary with my extended family in Vail, Colorado this week.  Nick is doing great and was released from the hospital last Friday (much to my chagrin because his Coumadin was not yet at a therapeutic level). He is now back in Antigua and feeling so much better! He traveled to Guatemala City on Monday morning to have his blood tested but his INR is still much too low at 1.37 (his goal range is between 2 and 3). His doctor increased his Coumadin from 5 to 10 mg per day so hopefully his INR will move up. He will have his blood tested again on Thursday. We're perplexed as to why it is moving so slowly, much more troubled than his doctor in Guatemala seems to be, but he can't travel by air until it is in the goal range. We are working with my Pulmonologist to get to the bottom of this issue, whether it be some sort of genetic resistance or something else.  Nick's been walking daily, spending time in the park and at his favorite cafés, and had a surprise visit from a dear friend in Mexico City on Sunday. Being out of the hospital has been wonderful for him and he's glad to be back in his home-away-from-home with Carlos, Jeanette and his friend, Will who is visiting from Los Angeles. Once he returns home to LA, which is currently scheduled for Sunday, July 29, he will find a Pulmonologist and Hematologist to follow up on his care.  Thank you again for your prayers, messages, phone calls and emails. We are blessed to have an amazing community of support and please know how much we love and appreciate all of you!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Nicholas' Hospitalization - 2


Nicholas continues to improve and is able to walk a little further today without getting too winded. He was disappointed this morning when his doctor told him that his target INR range is 2 – 3 but his INR was only 1.16 this morning. Yesterday they increased his Warfarin (generic Coumadin) dose from 5 mg/day to 10 mg/day and his INR went up from 1.05 to 1.16, so it is a very slow process. The other change they made was to switch him from the generic Warfarin to Coumadin. Hopefully this will speed things along.

He had an ultrasound on his legs this afternoon and they found that the clots he has have now attached themselves to the walls of his veins so the risk of those clots moving to his lungs is gone. The doctor also found several old clots (maybe a year old) in his legs so he has been very fortunate to remain healthy despite these clots but it is yet another reason for us to get to the root of the problem and for him to remain on Coumadin. One piece of good news we got is that the doctor mistakenly told Nick on Tuesday that the clot in his right calf was 3 inches in diameter when it was actually 3 centimeters in diameter. That’s about half the size we thought it was! I don’t know if it was simply an error the doctor made or if was a language barrier issue but we’re glad to know that the clot isn’t nearly as large as we had thought!

It looks like Nick will be in the hospital until at least next Monday, which is quite frustrating for him, but it will likely take at least that long for his INR to move into the goal range. The plan once he is released from the hospital is for him to go back to Antigua where he is living in the home of a host family that he has lived with off and on for the past 3 years. They are like a second family to him and he loves being there, so it will be a great place for him to recover. His friend from Los Angeles, Will is arriving tonight and will be with Nick for the next week in Guatemala, which will be really nice for Nick! He is planning to return to LA on Sunday, July 29th and will continue to receive care from his doctor there. He will need to find a Pulmonologist and perhaps a Hematologist to follow up on all that has happened and to keep an eye on him.

Thank you again for all your prayers, emails, notes, phone calls and concern. It is so nice to know how many wonderful and caring friends we have in our life and we are so grateful for all of you!

Love, Laura

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Nicholas' Hospitalization - 1


After spending 36 hours in the ICU, Nick has been moved to a regular room at the hospital, which is a good indication of the positive progress he is making toward recovery from his Pulmonary Emboli. He was on complete bed rest the entire time he was in the ICU and was being monitored around the clock. He is relieved to be out of there although it was of great comfort to know that he was being watched so closely.

We continue to be pleased with the level of care he is receiving at the hospital in Guatemala City. He is still receiving injections of Lovenox every 12 hours and is likely going to be on Coumadin for the rest of his life. Twenty-six years old is very young to have blood clotting issues and a Pulmonary Embolism.

We know that there is a genetic predisposition to clotting disorders on my side of the family as my mother has a history of blood clots, my brother, Scott had a PE when he was 49 years old and my other brother, Ken has had multiple blood clots. Our plan is to work with a Geneticist to determine what the gene or mutation is that causes the clots. If Emily and/or Christopher test positive for it, we can then get them on preventative care.

Yesterday afternoon Nicholas had an Echocardiogram and they found that the right side of his heart is quite enlarged. This is very common when having a Pulmonary Embolism as the heart becomes strained. His doctor feels that with time, his heart will return to its normal size.

Nicholas was in good spirits when I spoke with him an hour ago. He walked around a little bit (to the restroom and then over to the window) and became winded after that tiny amount of movement but this is to be expected. He will gradually be able to increase the distance he is able to walk as the clots dissolve and his blood oxygen level improves. His heart rate is still high (also to be expected) but his blood pressure is very good.

He will likely remain in the hospital until Saturday. He needs to be at a therapeutic level on the Coumadin before they will release him. He is not sure if he will stay in Guatemala City or go back to Antigua to recover for 10 days before flying back to Los Angeles. He will need to have his blood tested daily to determine his INR (International Normalized Ratio), which is a universal number that indicates how quickly the blood clots based on his PT (Prothrombin Time). Once his INR remains at a consistent level (which takes months), he will be able to stretch out the amount of time between blood tests, eventually needing to go only once a month. I still go every other week (1 ½ years after my Pulmonary Embolism) because my INR tends to fluctuate quite a bit but it has simply become part of my routine and I think nothing of it. I am just thankful to be on Coumadin and have peace of mind that the likelihood of forming more blood clots is extremely low.

Thank you for all of your notes of encouragement and for your prayers! We are so very grateful for all of you and thankful for God’s blessing on Nick’s life.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Here we go again...


First it was Christopher’s brain injury in April of 2010 and then seven months later, my multiple massive Pulmonary Emboli. Now it’s Nick’s turn.

He traveled to Antigua, Guatemala four weeks ago for a seven-week work assignment and we were fortunate to spend a week with him there for a family vacation! He noticed fairly soon after arriving in Guatemala that his breathing was quite labored while running but he assumed it was due to the high altitude. He’s used to running at sea level in Los Angeles and Antigua is at 5,000 feet. As the weeks progressed, he found it difficult to simply walk a block and by yesterday, walking from one room to another was enough for him to become out-of-breath. So he saw a doctor at a local clinic who said it sounded like he possibly had a Pulmonary Embolism but he sent him home with several syringes of Lovenox, an anticoagulant.

By the time Nick called us yesterday afternoon to talk about what was going on, he had contacted his medical insurance company and informed them of what was happening. Paul called Vivienne Newman, Christopher’s ICU doctor who put us in touch with a Pulmonologist at Stanford Medical Center. Our thoughts were that we wanted to get Nick out of Guatemala and to the States as quickly as possible so that he could receive proper medical attention. But both Nick’s insurance company and the Stanford Pulmonologist gave the same instruction to Nick… “Get to the hospital immediately!”

So Nick’s house father, Carlos drove him to the nearest hospital in Guatemala City and he arrived around 6:00 pm last night. They admitted him and began the process of running tests. They did and EKG, a contrast CT scan and a full blood panel. Within an hour and a half he had a definite diagnosis of Multiple Pulmonary Emboli. He has a large clot in his right lung and several small clots in his left lung. They gave him another injection of Lovenox, started him on Coumadin and moved him to the ICU where he is on complete bed rest. He will be in the ICU for at least 48 hours and then in the hospital until he is at a therapeutic level on the Coumadin.

Paul arrived in Guatemala at 6:00 this morning and I know both he and Nick were glad to see each other! After speaking with the Doctor, Paul said he feels comfortable having Nick at this hospital. It sounds as though he is receiving great care and there is no need to get him to the States at this point.

An ultrasound was done on Nick’s legs this morning that showed 2 blood clots. There is a small superficial clot which is inconsequential but the doctor also found a massive 2 ½” to 3” diameter deep vein thrombosis in his right calf. Not only is the size of concern, but also it seems to be moving very slowly with the flow of blood to his heart so they need to watch this one very carefully. He will continue to be on complete bed rest in the ICU until the clots begin to dissolve which will be monitored via CT scans. If the clot continues to move and becomes a threat, they will need to do surgery to insert a screen to keep the clot from breaking loose and reaching the heart and lungs. Surgery is unlikely at this point, though and the hope is that he will soon be at a therapeutic level on his Coumadin and will be released from the hospital by the end of the week.

Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes! Our God is a great God! He has blessed our family in ways we never imagined possible and we will continue to put our trust in Him. Please continue to pray for Nick’s recovery and for safe travels for Paul and Nick when they return to the States. 

Friday, October 14, 2011

I Can Only Imagine

For those of you who know me well, you know that I rarely speak of my faith on my blog. I never set out to do (or not) that; it’s simply the way things have played out. But today is different for I feel compelled to write. And the words that are flowing from my fingertips speak of my faith in a God who is so much bigger than me. This God is forgiving… He loved me even when I didn’t believe I was worthy of His love. He is a God who waited patiently for me as I asked my questions; as I struggled to comprehend who He really is and how He can possibly know each and every one of us, down to the number of hairs on our heads. He is a God who placed people into my life... I call them my angels here on earth and I believe they were hand-picked by God to show me His love; to teach me His ways; to set the record straight in my very confused and frustrated mind. But through my struggle to know this God, I discovered that He was always there, that He never let me down, and that His love for me is eternal.

Today an acquaintance of mine passed away. To put it more accurately, Frank passed into the arms of His waiting God. He is no longer in pain and he is finally at peace. Though I only spoke directly with Frank a handful of times, I always knew of him as a prayer warrior. He and his wife, Coralie dedicated their lives to praying for others and I will never forget speaking with Frank shortly after Christopher returned home from the hospital after his accident; hearing him tell me of the hours he spent on his knees in prayer for my child. For that I will always be grateful.

Though I am sad to know that Coralie is now left here on earth to carry on without her beloved partner, I can’t help but think of the joy that Frank is experiencing at this very moment. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is in heaven with God and I can only imagine what that must be like. There is a song by the group Mercy Me that has been playing in my mind all day long and I have always loved the lyric. It expresses so well what always comes to mind when I ponder the day I meet my God in heaven…

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I will do
is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine


Here's a link to the song if you'd like to give it a listen... 
http://youtu.be/9La_4svq8JI

As much as I am grateful for what God has blessed me with here on this earth, I look forward to the day I will see my God face to face. But for now, I will continue to do my best to honor Him and be a faithful servant. Here’s to you, Frank… you will be dearly missed here on earth but I can only imagine the party that is taking place in heaven.