Christopher's Rehab/Recovery 3

Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 5:45 pm Last night was my night to sleep at home so Paul was with Christopher at the hospital.  He had a really good night and slept a very long time.  He woke up at 6:00 am with a vengeance, though!  He quickly began asking Paul to take him home and became so vocal about it that Paul felt the need to put him in his wheelchair and take him out of the room so as to not disturb his roommate, Kiet, and his mom.  The insistence on going home has continued off and on throughout the day.  He had speech therapy this morning that went really well.   He came back from his session happy and his therapist Donna seemed pleased.  He ha told her the name of his school and other misc. things.  Physical therapy was a bit rougher, as Christopher wasn't really in the mood.  These days, Christopher does only what Christopher wants to do.  Hopefully this will end soon!  It's one thing dealing with a 30-pound toddler who doesn't want to cooperate....it's a whole other thing when it comes to a 13-year old boy! Paul said that there were times throughout the day that he saw moments of clarity and glimpses of the old Chris shining through.  They were bantering back and forth, joking around and talking like they used to do.  At one point, Chris asked if he could have his friend Mitch over.  Paul asked him, "what is Mitch's last name?  I can never remember."  And Chris said, "O'Brien...don't you remember?"  Then he asked Paul to call me and have me turn on the hot tub...to 104 degrees.  He knew that I was coming in the afternoon and asked if I would bring him a sandwich from Brass Bear, a local deli that he loves.  Paul told him that I would be there at 2:00 and this is the texting conversation that ensued... Laura:  "Sure!  Tell him we'll have lunch together." Paul: "Great.  He can tell time, and there will be hell to pay if you're 30 seconds late!!!" Laura:  "Uh oh...tell him I'll be there by 2:30, then.  It really will be closer to that, by the time I go to Brass Bear.   Paul:  "Just warning you that Chris thinks you're bringing him home.  No matter how many times I've told him." Laura:  "No problem..." Paul:  "I'll bet it won't be more than 3 seconds before he says, 'let's go'" Laura:  "Okay..." Paul:  2:00pm -"Kiet (roommate) just came back and Chris thought it was you.  He said, 'gosh my mom is 30 late.'" Laura:  "Terrible traffic to hospital.  Been sitting...still sitting...can see Children's Hospital...just can't get there fast enough!" Paul:  "Amen, Sister!!!" So as I was walking into Christopher's room, he looked at me and said, "Hi Mom!  Okay, let's go home!".....2 seconds flat.... 7:00 pm He has been sleeping fitfully for the past couple of hours and doing a lot of talking in his sleep.  This is something he frequently did before his injury, so I'm not surprised.  About 15 minutes ago he woke up and said that he wanted to sit in a chair and talk with me.  So we got a chair, put it across from my chair, got him into it and wrapped him up in blankets (he always seems to be really cold!).  He looked at me, smiled and said, "Hi Mom.  So, what should we talk about?  Let's go home."  I said, "I wish..." and he said, "We're going home tomorrow, okay?" I said, "One of these days, that is what we'll say...'we're going home tomorrow...'"  Then he said, "I'm tired...I want to go to bed."  So back to bed he went.  It was a little moment of normalcy.  I'll take every moment I can get!   The good thing is that his belligerence is diminished somewhat today.  Not a lot, but definitely a little.  It is so important for us to appreciate each little improvement, each step in the right direction.  So today we got less belligerence,  ...Sidestep...this is so ironic that I can either laugh or cry about it, and I'm not sure which to do, so I'll write.  Just as I was talking with you about the little improvements and less belligerence, Christopher woke up and said that he had to go to the bathroom.  I walked him into the restroom, and then all hell broke loose.  He decided that he wanted to take a shower, and would not accept 'no' for an answer.  He dug his heels in, literally, and absolutely would not walk out of that room.  I ended up having to call for help and it took three of us, one person was Bryan, an aide, to get him back into his bed and zipped in.  It was like torture.  He was so angry, telling us that we were mean, and were hurting him, and he was kicking at me and the side of the bed.  He has been in his bed for two hours now and I am sitting by his side.  He will not relent.  I have been called, mean, cruel, the worst mother in the world.  He told me that I hate him, that I do not love him, that I'm not listening to him, that I won't feed him or get him a drink.  He said that I am stupid, ugly and annoying, he doesn't love me and that he hates me.  He is trying to get the attention of anyone who will listen and even those who won't.  He is irate and I can't imagine that this is good for him. We just had to give him his medsmeds into his mouth and Katherine held his lips closed so he couldn't spit it out.  It was awful. He was thrashing and yelling at me, "how could you let this man hurt me like this?  He's breaking my arm!  Mom, help me, please!" This is the worst that I have seen and heard and it is heart-wrenching. This is what hell will be like.  I choose to not go there... I know that this is all part of recovery from a serious traumatic brain injury.  It is 'normal' and is to be expected.  It will get better and this won't last forever. His awful words are just that...words.  Thank God they are words that I have never heard come out of Christopher's mouth.  He doesn't know what he is saying and thankfully he will not remember this time. (the above photo of Paul and Christopher was taken in November 2009) Both Bryan and Katherine are amazing.  They are so patient and calm, and they have such encouraging things to say to me.  They know how difficult it is for a mother to see her child like this.  Bryan took my hand and told me to stay strong and to keep my faith and my belief in God.  He reminded me that this is such a hard thing to go through, but that he sees my strength and knows that I can do this, as long as I continue to take care of myself.  Then he asked if I was ready for a glass of red wine.  I told him that I could really use that, so he said, "Stay right there."  He came back a couple of minutes later with a paper cup, a can of grape juice and a container of apple juice.  He mixed the two together and then said, "Okay...here's your red wine..."  I have a very good imagination, and oh, how wonderful that glass of wine tasted!   Please pray for this phase to pass quickly.  I can only imagine how torturous it must be for Chris.  I cannot wait for the day that his mind is released from this prison... Love, Laura