Well, I've done it. I've come to accept the fact that I'm tired. No, actually, I'm exhausted... mentally, emotionally and physically. Yesterday I was beating myself up because I was feeling so tired and defeated. I told Paul and Mae that I feel as though I am weak and incompetent. I am not accustomed to feeling this way. Laura Ackerman is strong... steady and stable... able to handle that which comes her way. Isn't that what I've done for the past month?
I believe that I have now entered the 'let down' stage. The fact that I have 'let down' is a good thing. We are home, together as a family and Christopher is doing so well! Many of the concerns that we and the doctors had only a week ago are irrelevant today. Chris does, however tire easily and, as Emily, Paul and I have discussed, he is a bit disoriented... almost as though he is walking around in a fog much of the time. You wouldn't notice it if you spent 30 minutes or even 3 hours with him. You really need to live with him to see it. That's okay, though. We believe that that will get better as the months go by.
Back to my fatigue. I sat here today, reviewing the upcoming week and the many appointments Christopher has with Doctors and therapists. In addition to that, I looked at all that needs to be done around the house to simply 'catch up' after having neglected things for a month. I found myself thinking about all of you who have wanted to do something... anything to help us out. I remembered somewhere in the recesses of my mind, saying several weeks ago that I would set up an account on a website where those of you who would like to bring a meal to us could go and sign up. My exhaustion and overwhelming fatigue led me straight to that website and I reluctantly set up an account. It felt very strange... entering the dates we would like a meal brought to us... specifying the foods we enjoy... but I believe that it is what I need at this point.
SO... I set up an account for Christopher on Caring Bridge, which now includes my blog posts from the past month. Here's the link to our Caring Bridge website:
On the main page where it says "My Story" you can click on the link to provide meals, (or you can simply click on the link below) which is:
From there, I think it is intuitively obvious. Thanks so much (in advance) for helping us out! Again, I don't know what I would have done without all of your support and encouragement over the past month!
I love you all, Laura
Laura you may be tired, but gosh you are one sensible grounded person!!How fantastic to see someone prepared to say:"I need help!" So often people are too proud, or too embarrassed to accept the assistance that friends are so very happy to provide.
ReplyDeleteHow could you not be tired??? I'm sure I'm not alone in finding the way you have coped with all that has happened quite extraordinary.
It's time for some "me-time" Laura!
I wish I could pop round with a French meal for you!
Janet