Christopher's Rehab/Recovery 5

Friday, May 7, 2010, 10:15 pm This morning Chris woke at 6 am, took a 20 minute shower, and then he and Paul went to the cafeteria for breakfast. They had a nice conversation and there was no fussing about the wheelchair, no incessant "let's go home" and no fuss about going back to the room.  After breakfast, he spent some time laying quietly in bed listening to his iPod. This is the conversation that took place when Christopher's Dr. came into the room to check on him: Dr:  "Where did you get the different kid today?" Paul:  "I prayed all night for him.  Not for a break through...just that he'd get over the really hard stuff." Dr:  "Well I thought of him a lot last night as well. You must have better connections than I do." This afternoon, he got fussed by the Occupational therapist, but he finally went. He was very tired, but generally cooperative. Today Christopher didn't take a baby step in his progress...it was more like a giant leap!  He has not had any moments of outright belligerence!  He had a rather negative period this afternoon lasting for a couple of hours, saying he hates this hospital, he hates himself, he hates me...but he remained calm and not combative.  His demeanor during that time could best be described as "being in a funk."  It was not a tantrum like the past two days...just a funk... This is how it went: "you don't love me, if you loved me you'd take me home, I hate this hospital, I'm not hungry, I was going to eat at home but NO, I'm not going home, I'm hot, this hospital is stupid, I hate it here, why can't I just go home?  Why doesn't this stupid hospital just let me go home?" I finally said, "I'm tired of you calling this hospital 'stupid' because THIS hospital is the reason you're still alive". He said, "Fine...why doesn't THIS hospital just let me go home?" Dr. Newman (with Chris in photo) stopped in for a surprise visit and it was wonderful to see her!  Chris, of course has no memory of her, as he was in a coma and then heavily sedated during the time she cared for him.  I love that she was able to chat with him for awhile and he answered some of her questions.  He told her that he was in the hospital because he had been climbing trees with his friends, he fell and 'bumped' his head when he landed on the (...couldn't come up with the word 'street').  It was only yesterday that he told people that he was in the hospital because he has a broken foot.   Something happened after his 'funk' this afternoon...like a switch turned on...the 'I can just relax' switch, that is... It was around 5:00 pm and I asked him if he wanted to take a shower...the magical shower...and he said, "Yes."  After about 20 minutes, he dressed himself and then we ordered his dinner. He ate it without any fuss, then laid in his bed peacefully with the net unzipped.  This would have never happened yesterday.  After awhile, he told me that he was going to go to sleep and he simply drifted off.  He woke up around 8:00 pm, just in time for checking his vitals and taking his meds which he did without incident (again, this would have never happened several days ago...remember Bryan holding him down and me forcing them into his mouth?...uggghhh!).  He fell back asleep after about 15 minutes of telling me that he loves me, reaching out to hold my hand and asking me to text Paul and tell him that he loves and misses him.  He is a different child tonight...he is the one that I know so well.  I simply cannot believe it.  Honestly, I was prepared for several days to weeks of combativeness and belligerence.  This is a welcome surprise and such a blessing!  I know that he might slip back into that behavior, but for tonight, his mind finally seems to be at peace and I can only imagine what a relief that is for my little man. Okay, now it's time for some numbers, because we haven't talked numbers for more than a week.  Since Wednesday, April 21st at 7:14 pm, I have received over twelve-hundred (1,200) e-mails filled with care and concern, offers of help in every capacity, and words of love, encouragement and well-wishes.  That is absolutely mind-boggling.  Then there are the hundreds of facebook messages, wall posts and comments.  My minutes spent on the phone since 4/21 at 6:41 pm?  Nine-hundred thirty-one (931). Text messages?  Well, that would be two-thousand forty-eight (2,048). Finally, in the seventy-two hours since I first began posting these e-mail updates on my blog, you have left twenty-three comments directly on the blog and sent me one-hundred thirteen comments via e-mail. Thank you so much!!!  I love reading what you have to say and find your words and thoughts so very encouraging.  I feel blessed beyond words and I continue to be humbled by your outpouring of love.  Thank you for praying so fervently for Christopher.   This evening I showed Christopher the slide show pictures of him that I put together last Monday using the song I Don't Know Why by Amy Grant.  I had shown it to him the night I made it, but he reacted quite negatively when the photos of him in the PICU came up but tonight he really enjoyed watching it, though he was shocked that he looked like he did while in a coma.   I am going to re-post that video after this entry, so that you can watch it if you missed it the first time around.  I still 'don't know why' all of this has happened....I still'don't know how' it will end and I still 'don't know where' we will be a week, a month, even a year from now.  But I do know that 'now' is where we are today and I have come to accept and even embrace our 'new normal.'  I can't really explain it, but I am truly at peace with all of this, having full confidence that I will be able to continue to stand, sit and lay by Christopher's side, holding his hand, assisting him in whatever way he needs as he fights his way back.  At thirteen, he was very independent, making his own breakfasts, lunches and snacks (actually, he had been doing that since he was six), being responsible for his school work, and doing his own laundry.  I taught him to do these things once and I have confidence that he will learn to do them again.  He is strong, resilient, precocious and persistent.  Christopher's 'now' is in a hospital bed, and I believe that, for some reason, in some way, he came to accept that this evening.  For that, I am thankful... Love, Laura